It seems that lately I’ve been in one of those valleys. It’s not so much the homeschooling itself that is leading to my discouragement. I’m still loving that just as much as ever. It’s more the issues that arise that I deal with day in and day out because we’re here at home together that tend to get me down. It’s the quibbling amongst the kids, the unpleasant attitudes, and the battle against the intensely strong will of my four year old. Sometimes it feels as if these things will never improve, and having the intention to homeschool well into the future, this can be pretty disparaging. It’s pretty easy to start telling myself I am making no difference in their lives and that I must not be doing a very good job at this.
When I go to bed at night, I usually feel like I failed at something that day. I’ve been trying to go to God with my discouragement about how the day has gone, searching through His Word for encouragement and praying for strength for the next day. Last night, after doing this, I still felt like I needed some extra encouragement and the thought popped into my head to ask God for more…something that would show me He hears me and knows how weary I’ve been feeling. I don’t know why, but I specifically asked God to speak to me through Josh. This morning after breakfast, I came into my bathroom to find a note written by my wonderful husband (pictured above) sitting in my sink. I immediately recognized this as an answered prayer, not because it says something profound that I’ve never heard before, but because I believe it means more than just the words it says. The Creator of all things cared enough about what I’m going through to remind me of what’s true when I needed it and asked for it. He knows that what I am doing is important and a part of His plan.
What I tell myself about not making much of a difference is a lie. The time I spend investing in the lives of our kids will make a difference. By the grace of God, these kids will be a light in a very dark world that is getting darker each day and they will go on to influence the next generation for His glory. I think it’s pretty exciting that I get to be a part of that.