This is something I’ve been thinking about and struggling with lately. A lot of our family’s choices, though made thoughtfully and intentionally, are very much outside of the mainstream. Whether it be our decision to educate our children at home, our views on natural health, our goal to parent and discipline based on the Bible, or our desire to keep the focus of certain holidays on what they are truly about, these things are often met with opposition because they are so…different. Though I’ve grown passionate about all these things, the fact that they are so foreign in the world we live in is still so hard for me sometimes and goes against every single people-pleasing, approval-seeking bone in my body. Sometimes it’s hard not to see these things as hardships that make my life more difficult. At my core, I want to be liked and I want people to believe that I am a good mother and know that I love my children, but I know very well that some of our choices aren’t popular and I may have to accept that I can’t control what people are going to think of me. One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is that God has made this family who we are. He has led us in all these different directions, almost always against my very own will, starting with my conversion ten years ago! I was not at all seeking after Jesus, but He sought after me and softened my heart towards Him. A life that was previously all about me was quickly transformed into a life driven by a desire to follow Jesus. I also didn’t really have any interest in nutrition or alternative health. Quite honestly, I was pretty apathetic, while at the same time I was prideful that I was doing everything just right. God turned my apathy into a quest for the healthiest lifestyle for my family and He humbled me to see that I did not have all the answers like I’d originally thought. And I certainly had no intentions of homeschooling. ”It’s just not for me!”, I’d say. I was actually quite excited about the idea of having some more time to myself when the kids were finally in school. I went from detesting the idea of giving up my own freedom to falling in love with the idea of spending my days learning with my children, literally overnight. And though I loved my children dearly and believed in the truths of the Bible with all my heart, for some reason there still wasn’t an urgency in me to impress it upon them in daily life….yet. God made changes as He saw fit and gave me a strong desire to make His Word the focus of our schooling. With each change of heart, I see God taking me on an amazing journey where He is never willing to let my stubbornness stand in the way of His plans for us. When I look at it that way, I can’t allow myself to believe that our differences are thorns in my life that threaten to rip the approval of others, that I so desperately seek, away from me. They are gifts that were given to me that have made my life so rich and beautiful. I am striving to see the trials of being different from the rest of the world with new eyes. They are a joy and an opportunity to stand out and glorify Him with the unique life we’re living. And the wonderful thing is that He is not finished with this family yet. I can’t wait to see what changes He makes for us in the future, even if they don’t win me any popularity contests. His opinion of me is the ONLY one that matters, and if I am allowing him to lead me, I can be sure that He is well-pleased.
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